The Hardest Word
by csiAngel
Summary: G/C - chapter 15 up now!! The End!!
1. The Card

Disclaimer: The CSI characters do not belong to me, I am just borrowing them.  
  
The Hardest Word  
  
Chapter One - The Card  
  
He was nervous. Though never fond of interacting with people, he had placed himself in this situation. It had felt like the right thing to do. It still did. But he was still nervous, unsure of what was expected of him; how he should act; what he should say. So for now, he was standing in front of the fireplace admiring the many cards lined up along it. People moved in the room behind him, greeting, joking, laughing. He continued browsing. One card caught his eye, the words "Merry Christmas Sexy" across the top. Who could have sent it? It must be a joke. She would have told him if she had anyone special in her life. Wouldn't she?  
  
To read it would be intrusive. To ask her about it might seem suspicious. She would wonder why he was so curious. He wondered why he was so curious. However, this train of thought was interrupted mid-journey when a small hand tugged on his jacket.  
  
"Uncle Grissom," a soft child's voice said.  
  
He looked to his side. She was standing looking up at him, a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eyes, revealing the happiness and excitement in her heart. This was her favourite time of year. She looked forward to it for months, writing her Christmas list in July, singing carols from August and, in September, starting to complain because the shops weren't yet selling Christmas cards for her to send to her friends. Now the day she had been waiting for had almost arrived. Her presents were stacked under the tree, and her Mum's friends were here for dinner. She knew there were only a few hours to go but was not sure that she would be able to contain her excitement for that long. It was already showing on her face, and what she was about to do was not supposed to be done until Christmas Day, but she just couldn't wait.  
  
"Uncle Grissom!" she repeated, growing quickly impatient as a result of her excitement.  
  
"Lindsey! What can I do for you?"  
  
"I have to whisper," she said, bright eyed and smiling.  
  
He lowered himself to her level and she leaned towards his ear.  
  
"I have a present for you."  
  
"Have you?" He said, adding curiosity to his voice to join in her game.  
  
"Yes. And I think you should open it now."  
  
Grissom turned to her and smiled. "I don't think your Mum would be very pleased if I did. She might tell me off."  
  
"You're her boss. She can't tell you off," she replied, showing wisdom that was above her years but, unfortunately, not exactly accurate. Yes, he was her boss, but she would tell him off. Many a time she had reprimanded him, and rightly so. He was her superior only in title. They were a team. He couldn't run the nightshift without her. At least, he believed he couldn't, but he knew he didn't want to try.  
  
"Oh, she would tell me off. And I don't want that. She can be scary sometimes, your Mum."  
  
"She's not scary!" the nine year old laughed, in total disbelief that a man like Grissom could be scared of her Mum.  
  
"She is when she tells me off. Do you not get scared when she tells you off?"  
  
"She doesn't tell me off. I'm not naughty. You shouldn't be naughty Uncle Gil. It's bad."  
  
In her words he heard Catherine, it was a credit to her, and a sign of her daughter's total devotion, that Lindsey firmly believed that it is bad to be naughty.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry. But isn't it naughty to open presents before Christmas Day?" Grissom queried.  
  
"Not if the person who gives you the present says it's okay. And I'm giving you the present, and I say it's okay."  
  
Logical. How could he argue with that? He knew she would have a counter argument for anything he said. But he also knew that if he opened his present, she would want to open hers from him, and that would certainly earn a telling off from Catherine. Regardless of whether he said it was okay, some presents had to be kept for the next day, and his was one of them. Before he could argue though, she had disappeared under the tree and was rooting through the gifts.  
  
He turned back to the fireplace. His eyes went directly to that card. They focussed on it for a while, staring intensely as if he would somehow be able to see through it if he stared hard enough. However, before this succeeded, he stopped himself. He snapped out of it, as if from a daze. It was none of his business. What if it was from Eddie? What if he was trying to worm his way back into her life? No. She wouldn't have that card up if it was from him. Unless she wanted him back. She wouldn't -  
  
"Here it is!" the voice cried, pushing a box into his hands. "Be careful with it. It is very fragile. Come sit down and open it." She took his hand and led him to the sofa. "Sit!"  
  
He obeyed, hesitating to open the present though.  
  
"Don't you want to open it?" she said with a hint of disappointment evident in her voice.  
  
"I would like to save it for tomorrow" he responded, hoping that would be sufficient.  
  
"But I won't see you tomorrow." This time disappointment filled her words and her expression. Her eyes lowered from him, all her previous excitement drained from her body.  
  
"Okay, I'll open it now."  
  
With this her smile returned, her eyes twinkled again, and she clapped her hands in an excited flurry.  
  
He was just about to peel back the first piece of tape when he was stopped abruptly.  
  
"Gil Grissom! I hope you're not trying to open your present!"  
  
"I told him he could, Mum," Lindsey said as she ran to Catherine, "And it's from me."  
  
"But does he want to open it tonight? He always told me that he likes to keep all his presents for Christmas Day."  
  
"Oh, okay," she said, a little disappointed, and then she ran over to Warrick to try her charm on him while her Mum was distracted.  
  
"What have you done to her, Gil? She wouldn't stop smiling before." She smiled and sat down next to him.  
  
"She wanted me to open that present."  
  
"I'd told her that you weren't to open it. She only wanted you to so she could open her present from you. You know that, right?"  
  
"Yes I knew that. But she's very persuasive, she had a great defence for all my arguments. She's a smart kid, Cath."  
  
"I know. Takes after her mother. Thank God," she laughed.  
  
Thank God. Meaning 'Thank God she doesn't take after her father'? he thought. That was a good sign. It sounded like she still hated Eddie. The card wasn't from him. But she was laughing when she said it. Perhaps she was joking. Laughter reflecting fondness? No. Eddie hurt her. She wouldn't even consider taking him back. But the card was on display. It couldn't be from Eddie. So who was it from? And why did it matter?  
  
"Grissom, are you listening?"  
  
His thoughts were interrupted again, and he was relieved. They were starting to take him places he didn't want to go.  
  
"Of course I'm listening," he lied.  
  
"What was I talking about?"  
  
Silence. She knew he wasn't listening. And he knew that she knew. Their eyes were locked. Her look, a mixture of waiting to see how he responded, letting him know that she knew he had lied, and telling him it wasn't even worth trying to lie again. The 'scary' look. Yet she looked so beautiful when she looked at him like that.  
  
He frowned, puzzled.  
  
She also frowned. "What?"  
  
"Nothing. Sometimes my own thoughts surprise me."  
  
"What were you thinking?" she smiled curiously.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
She knew further questioning would yield no results so she dropped the subject.  
  
" I should check on the food." She stood to leave.  
  
"I'll give you a hand," he offered, joining her.  
  
"You cook?" She seemed in disbelief.  
  
"I've cooked you breakfast!"  
  
"Bagels. Eggs. Fruit. Not exactly Cordon Bleu."  
  
"You've never complained before."  
  
"I didn't say I didn't like it." She smiled proudly and led the way into the kitchen.  
TBC.. 


	2. Later

Disclaimer - see chapter one  
  
Chapter Two - Later  
  
He'd survived. Dinner was over. The after dinner segment was over. The party was over. And, not only had he survived, he had enjoyed it. Or, at least, he would admit it wasn't as bad as he had thought it would be.  
  
Nick and Sara were just leaving. Catherine was standing by the door, Nick hugged her and whispered into her ear. At that she laughed, throwing her head back. He watched. She looked so happy. Truly happy. The happiest he had ever seen her. For the first time she seemed completely free of worry. And it suited her. He had never thought it possible for her to be more beautiful. But here he was, captivated by her radiance. And once again taken aback by his thoughts.  
  
Nick and Sara left. She closed the door and rested herself against it, looking directly at him.  
  
"It was quite a night. Coffee?" her eyes fell to the jacket over his arm, "or were you going?"  
  
"I thought the party was over."  
  
"I just didn't have enough coffee for everyone. So I figured I'd wait til there was only one left and then offer it. You are the lucky winner. You want or are you going?"  
  
"I should - "  
  
"It's okay. Well, thank you for coming. I know Lindsey was pleased."  
  
"Just Lindsey?" he said, before he even realised he was going to say it.  
  
"Well, I think Nick and Warrick were impressed to find you interacting with other humans.. Sorry, with humans." A mischievous smile crept across her face as she spoke.  
  
She had understood what his question implied and she avoided it because she also understood the look of terror on his face after he'd said it. She always knew when to carry on a topic of conversation, and when he just wanted to retreat and not reveal any more information.  
  
"Bugs tend not to make insulting comments. They don't talk back -"  
  
"And they don't ask anything of you? We don't ask much, Gil, but you're our leader, we look up to you, we follow your example."  
  
"So you all stay home on your days off, listening to Bach and reading encyclopaedia?"  
  
"Well, no. But we think about doing it.. I'm glad you eventually gave in. It only took four years to persuade you to join us. That means, in two years, you'll come for Christmas dinner."  
  
"Christmas is for family, Cath."  
  
"You are family, Gil. I told you. And I hate thinking of you all alone."  
  
"I won't be alone. I'm working."  
  
"What? Since when? I thought you were gonna take this holiday off."  
  
"I was. But I figured I had no plans so -"  
  
"Right." Her voice revealed a slight disappointment. He realised he had not chosen his words very carefully. He could have had plans. She had invited him for dinner.  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"It's alright. I've known you long enough to know you didn't mean it to sound that insulting." She joked, but she was partly serious. He had offended her. She wasn't important enough for him to take the day off work. He could see it in her eyes. He had upset her. Throughout the years of seeing her hurting at Eddie's hand he had promised he would never hurt her. He would always be there to protect her. Now he was the cause.  
  
"I'll just get your presents." That was his confirmation. She was no longer asking him if he wanted to stay.  
  
He followed her through to the living room. She was crouched in front of the tree.  
  
"The one from Linds needs to be kept the right way up and handled with care. And she chose it herself so don't blame me. Mine, you can throw around as much as you like." She stood and handed him two gifts.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"You're welcome. And thank you for ours."  
  
There was a short, awkward silence.  
  
"I didn't -"  
  
"Hey, it's okay. I know what you meant. You said you weren't coming. Therefore you didn't have any plans. It's fine. It's not like I don't have any other friends coming over. I'll probably only miss you as much as you missed me when I was in Miami." She flashed that cheeky smile again and his guilt subsided a little. She was okay. They were okay. That was her way of telling him.  
  
"Are you sure you don't want that coffee?"  
  
"No thanks. I should get some sleep."  
  
She had known him for a long time, and she knew there was something wrong with this conversation. He wasn't relaxed. He wasn't himself. She longed to ask what was going on. Why he looked so lost and alone despite her company. But she also knew that he would deny it. So she did as she always did, and didn't ask. And she knew that was what he wanted. And he knew she would be there if he ever did want to talk about it.  
  
"I'll see you out then."  
  
They walked, silently, into the hall.  
  
"Merry Christmas," she smiled and wrapped her arms around him.  
  
He returned the embrace and held her close to him. She could feel that he felt uncomfortable so she pulled away. As she did, he kissed her cheek. Gently, softly, yet also nervously. It surprised her, but she didn't show it. He wouldn't want her to.  
  
"I'll see you in two days."  
  
"Give Lindsey a hug for me."  
  
"I will. Goodnight."  
  
"Goodnight."  
  
And with that, he left. Now she could show her surprise. She now understood what was going on. Or, at least, she had a theory. But it couldn't be right. Could it? This was Grissom. He didn't show his feelings. But what was that? What the hell was he doing? 


	3. Retreat

Disclaimer - see chapter one  
  
Chapter Three - Retreat  
  
He had asked himself the same question as he drove home, and as he walked to his door, and as he entered his townhouse. What the hell was he doing? He had found himself unable to take his eyes off her all night. His thoughts frequently returned to that card, stirring within him a feeling that he was losing her, and with it, fear. He had been overcome by a beauty he had always known she possessed. Since he first saw her, he had considered her beautiful, but tonight it was enchanting. Tonight he'd allowed himself to admit what he had felt since that day he met her. But had he made a mistake? She would be suspicious of the kiss. He rarely hugged, let alone kissed, anyone. Would she ask though? And if she didn't, would it be because she thought he didn't want her to ask, or because she wanted to ignore it?  
  
Retreat, he thought. His solution to personal issues. He tried to stop thinking about it. He poured himself a drink. Her beauty once again invaded his thoughts. He consumed it in one action. He could see her eyes. Her gorgeous deep blue eyes. It wasn't working. However, as he placed his gifts under the tree, one package caught his eye. Labelled "Catherine, love Grissom" it should not have been there. Whose gift had he given to her? It was too late to call to tell her of his mistake, and he wasn't sure that he wanted to speak to her so soon anyway. He was glad he was working the next day. It would give him something to concentrate on. To take his mind off her. She would notice that the gift wasn't hers and, if she wasn't too disturbed by this evening, let him know. Or, if his actions had frightened her as much as they had him, she would keep it 'til she saw him. He thought it most likely to be the latter, but hoped she would call. He didn't want things to be awkward. He wanted to take back this evening and return to the security of his shell.  
  
TBC... 


	4. What a Christmas Day

Disclaimer - see chapter one  
  
Chapter Four - What a Christmas Day  
  
"Mummy!" Lindsey screamed as she ran into her mother's bedroom and leapt onto her bed. "Wake up! It's Christmas!" She bounced on the bed until Catherine opened her eyes, at which point she ran into the doorway. "Come on! Presents!" And she was gone. Knowing that trying to get more sleep was pointless, Catherine forced herself to wake and followed Lindsey to the Christmas tree. There was already paper thrown around the room.  
  
"Look what Nick got me," she said, waving a Princess Barbie in front of her mum's face.  
  
"I bet he enjoyed shopping for that," Catherine said to herself, imagining Nick standing in a toy store, surrounded by pink boxes.  
  
"And Sara got me a carriage for her to go to the ball in."  
  
"Ah." Now it was clear. Nick got Sara to buy the present. Still, the image of Sara surrounded by pink boxes was just as amusing. "They're very nice, aren't they," she said, sitting on the sofa before her remaining energy ran out.  
  
"Now, I'm going to open my present from Uncle Grissom," she explained, pulling a box onto her knee. "You open yours too!"  
  
"Okay. Please could you pass it to me?"  
  
Lindsey checked all the labels but she could not find one for her mum from Grissom.  
  
"There is one for 'Greg, from Grissom', but none for you. Greg doesn't live here," she observed.  
  
"It must be a mistake. I'll take it to Grissom later," Catherine said, secretly pleased that she had a reason to go and see him. So secret that she was even trying to keep it from herself.  
  
"Can I come?"  
  
"No honey, you're going to your dad's later. I'll go while you're there."  
  
"Can't we go before that? I want to see Grissom." She saw the hope in her little face. And, whilst she hated to cause her pain, she needed to see Grissom alone. She needed it to be possible for him to talk if he wanted to.  
  
"I'm sorry, sweetie, we have guests coming earlier, and then I need to talk to Gil on my own. Okay? I have some important things to talk to him about."  
  
"Okay. But will I see him tomorrow?"  
  
"I'll ask him if he'll come round before work. Is that alright?"  
  
Lindsey said that it was and seemed content with that plan. And the present opening continued.  
  
~That evening~  
  
It was a quiet evening at the lab. Apparently the criminal element were taking this holiday off. Whilst he did have paperwork to complete it was not distracting enough, and the present sitting on his desk wasn't helping. He had it angled so he could see the label. It was there constantly in the corner of his eye. A reminder of her. A reminder of last night. And a reminder that she hadn't called.  
  
He had intended to deliver the present on his way to work. He had made it as far as Catherine's street and then stopped. She hadn't called. She must have discovered that she had Greg's present by that time. Yet she hadn't called. It wasn't fair for him to just show up. Perhaps she needed time. He would let her have it.  
  
The phone rang. He froze. It continued to ring.  
  
"Do you not answer your phone anymore?"  
  
The familiar voice came from the doorway. He didn't look up.  
  
"Gil?" Realising that perhaps he couldn't hear it she entered the office, leaned across him and answered it for him. She leaned across him intentionally to notify him of her presence. He didn't react. He could hear everything. And she knew it.  
  
"Grissom's office.. No, I'm just visiting. Can't stay away.. He's a little pre-occupied at the moment, apparently.. I will do. Merry Christmas." She put the phone down and turned to Grissom.  
  
"Brass. Just calling to confirm that there aren't any cases yet. So, are you trying to pretend you're not here?"  
  
He wanted to respond. He felt like he did. But he hadn't.  
  
"It won't work with me. I'm standing right in front of you."  
  
"Cath? What are you doing here?" he said, faking surprise.  
  
"Trying to contact the other side."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well, it felt like it. Where the hell were you?.. Brass called to say there still aren't any cases."  
  
"Thanks." She could have at least warned him. He wasn't prepared to see her. Whilst he'd hoped she would call, he was also glad she hadn't. He wanted to know they were okay, but he didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to know how she was going to respond. In case it wasn't what he wanted. Or, perhaps, in case it was.  
  
"So, I didn't know you like Greg that much," she said to break the silence.  
  
He raised his eyebrows and shrugged his shoulders.  
  
"Can I swap it for that one?" her eyes indicated the package on his desk, with an accompanying look of curiosity and excitement, similar to that which Lindsey had displayed the night before.  
  
"By all means."  
  
She was acting as if nothing had happened. She was waiting for him to introduce the subject. This was what she always did. She didn't make him talk. She didn't say anything. Yet he knew she'd be there if he wanted to share.  
  
Catherine picked up her present and replaced it with Greg's. Then she placed herself on a chair opposite him. She didn't open it. She sat in silence, looking around the office. Grissom looked at her, wondering what she was doing. Her roaming eyes caught his gaze, her eyes were wide and beamed hope.  
  
"You can open it," he said, smiling slightly. She was trying to establish a light mood for their conversation. They were okay. Everything was as it should be.  
  
"Wow!"  
  
Her exclamation startled him from his occupation watching her, admiring her.  
  
"Gil, it's beautiful. Did you choose it yourself?" she smiled that cheeky smile, " thank you."  
  
"It'll go quite well with that necklace," he said as he noticed the twinkling chain around her neck.  
  
"Oh, forgot I had it on. Yes it will. That's quite spooky."  
  
Grissom looked to his paperwork again as he spoke, in an attempt to make it appear that he was just making conversation, not trying to get information.  
  
"A present?" he said, jotting something down on his paper.  
  
She knew what he was doing. It caused her to smile.  
  
"Yes." He wasn't going to get the information he wanted without being more direct.  
  
"Oh. Well somebody has the same taste in jewellery as I do. Lindsey?" He still didn't look up.  
  
"No." So he didn't see her smiling. She enjoyed teasing him.  
  
"Your sister?" He still pretended to be working.  
  
"No." He would never guess, but she let him continue.  
  
With his next question he looked up. And he looked serious, and concerned.  
  
"Eddie?"  
  
She understood his concern, and so she too was serious, to put his mind at rest. "No. Do you think I'd be wearing it if it was?"  
  
"Just thought he could have been trying to get you back."  
  
"And you just thought I might let him succeed?" she seemed shocked and somewhat disappointed.  
  
Ordinarily he would be silent now, she would realise he didn't want this topic to continue and she would choose a new one. He couldn't do that now. She was upset that he - who knew her better than anyone else - could think she would allow Eddie back into her life after everything she went through. Just how stupid did he think she was?  
  
She was waiting for a response. This was about her. Not him. He couldn't get away with saying nothing this time.  
  
She waited.  
  
He didn't know what to say.  
  
She waited.  
  
He wasn't good at putting things right.  
  
She was tired of waiting. She stood up. "Well, if you think I'm that stupid and easy, what the hell does everyone else think?. And what did you expect in return for this?" She threw the bracelet at his desk and walked towards the door.  
  
"Cath!"  
  
She stopped in the doorway, but she didn't wait to hear why he'd stopped her. She turned slowly, and spoke sadly. "Just a stupid, glorified hooker. An image I knew some people would not let me live down, but I didn't think you would be one of them." With that she did leave, and his calls to stop her went ignored.  
  
TBC. 


	5. Waiting

Disclaimer - see chapter one  
  
Chapter Five - Waiting  
  
"The guy doesn't speak. You speak to him, you ask him how he is. How he feels. Nothing. Fair enough, if he wants to keep himself to himself, that's fine. I'll always be there if he ever did want to talk. And I understand that he knows that. That's it with us. That's how it goes. We understand each other. Communication between us is telepathic. I know he doesn't want to talk, so I read the silence. But it won't work this time. I'm not gonna mind read his apology, or his explanation. And I'm not gonna tell him how to fix this!"  
  
She was pacing up and down her living room. It had been three hours and he hadn't called. She was trying to tell herself that she had over-reacted, that her interpretation wasn't what he meant, but this silence wasn't helping. Their friendship was on the line and he wasn't trying to fix it. Perhaps that's what he had meant. Perhaps he does think she's that stupid.  
  
"Cath, you have to calm down. You said he's not good with feelings, or people. He probably needs time." Her sister couldn't watch her like this. She didn't know exactly what had passed between Cath and Grissom, and she didn't need to. Catherine didn't get this upset unless it was serious. She just couldn't grasp the idea that Grissom had upset her this much.  
  
"Time is the one thing he shouldn't have needed. This is me. He is good with me. At least I thought he was. I thought we were friends. I thought - Maybe I mis-read him. I thought he actually cared about me, but apparently I'm not important enough for him to overcome his fear of words. Obviously he was just protecting me 'cause he thought I lacked the intelligence to take care of myself!.. Why hasn't he called?!!"  
  
She was visibly more distressed.  
  
"That's the thing with silence. How do you know if he's silent because he's sorry and he's scared, or if he's silent because he has nothing to say?"  
  
"Because you understand each other. Because you understand him. Because you know he didn't mean it."  
  
"Do I?"  
  
"Yes you do. You just want to hear him say he's sorry."  
  
Her sister was right. Catherine knew Gil wanted to apologise.  
  
"I just . I just don't think I will."  
  
She stopped as she said this, for the first time looking directly at her sister. Her face showed her emotional exhaustion, her eyes tired and tear stained.  
  
"Hey, he will apologise," her sister said softly, increasingly concerned by the extent of Catherine's distress.  
  
"Yeah, but not for the right thing. I know, I've been waiting."  
  
TBC... 


	6. Run

Disclaimer - see chapter one  
  
Chapter Six - Run  
  
Criminals have extremely bad timing. It was now three in the morning and far too late to call Catherine. Or was it? She would have to be back on nightshift hours ready for work the following night, maybe she would still be awake. Maybe he just wanted to believe that it was too late. Or perhaps it was too late. He should have followed her. He should have stopped her. Why didn't he stop her? He threw his pen across the room.  
  
"Well I did say you could throw it about as much as you like."  
  
"Cath. It wasn't that pen."  
  
"I know," she said simply.  
  
"I don't think you're stupid. I don't think you're easy. I have never thought of you as a glorified hooker. And I certainly did not expect what you implied in return for that present. I am so sorry." He said it all in one breath, no hesitation.  
  
She smiled, slightly, holding back tears, "I know."  
  
"Will you re-accept the bracelet?"  
  
She nodded. Her energy consumed in her determination not to cry. He picked up the bracelet from his desk and walked towards her.  
  
In one hand she held an envelope. She lowered that arm holding out her other wrist for the bracelet. As he approached he locked his eyes with hers. Her breathing deepened as he got closer. She recognised the feeling. She'd been forcing herself to repress it for years. He stopped in front of her and wrapped the bracelet round her wrist, looking away only briefly to ensure it was securely fastened, then his eyes were back on hers.  
  
He leaned in towards her. Shocked, she took a sharp intake of breath. His hand brushed against hers and he took the envelope.  
  
"What's this?" His eyes were still fixed tightly on her. She looked down. Tears trying to come through again. He lifted her chin so her eyes met his again.  
  
"Cath?"  
  
"I want some time off."  
  
"When?"  
  
"As soon as possible, if that's. possible."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
She nodded, "Yeah."  
  
"Okay. Start tomorrow. Take as long as you need."  
  
"What? Won't you -"  
  
"We'll survive."  
  
"How are -"  
  
"My shift, my team, my decision.. Do you have anything planned?" With his question he returned to his seat. Shock fixed Catherine to the spot.  
  
"I've been invited to Miami. Open invitation. Come any time. Thought now was as good a time -"  
  
Grissom's heart sank. Suddenly it all clicked into place. The only response he could manage was a nod and, "Have fun."  
  
She turned to leave. This was his chance. Maybe he would take it.  
  
"Catherine."  
  
She turned back.  
  
"Horatio Caine?" he said, moving his head to indicate her necklace.  
  
"Yeah," she said, disappointed at his choice of topic.  
  
"Merry Christmas Sexy?"  
  
"A joke."  
  
Grissom managed a small, false smile. "I'll see you when you get back."  
  
Catherine nodded, then started to leave again.  
  
"Cath -"  
  
She turned.  
  
"You are coming back?"  
  
"Do you see a letter of resignation?" she flashed a slightly saddened version of her mischievous smile then left.  
  
Grissom relaxed slightly with the relief that she wasn't going forever. Then, sitting back, he noticed the envelope. He hadn't opened it.  
  
TBC.. 


	7. Await Return

Disclaimer - see chapter one  
  
Chapter Seven - Await Return  
  
The next few days - or, rather, nights - passed slowly. After answering all the initial questions about Catherine's whereabouts, her health, and his new ant farm, Grissom had settled the team back into their normal routine. Thankfully they had plenty of cases to work on. "Thankfully" not to be insensitive to the victims, but to keep his mind off Catherine. More particularly, to keep his mind off Catherine and Horatio Caine. It kept wandering to ponder how close they were, and when they became so. She had never mentioned him. Except for details pertaining to the case, she hadn't said anything about her time in Miami. Now, suddenly, she was wearing a diamond necklace, and was out there in Miami, instead of here, with them. How had he missed such a development?  
  
"Hey, Gris! You gonna be here for the New Year party?" Nick called to him from the doorway. "Providing we're not at a crime scene, I mean."  
  
"What do you think?" was Grissom's reply.  
  
"I think you're on the rota so you have to actually be here, but you won't specifically be at the party." Nick nodded in understanding.  
  
Grissom smiled. "Very good, Nicky boy."  
  
Nick laughed and walked away. He had known the response he would get before he asked. Grissom didn't party. Seeing him at Catherine's on Christmas Eve had been quite a surprise, but then, Catherine could convince Grissom to do just about anything. As he entered the corridor, he called back to him.  
  
"Best put on a nice suit, anyway, Cath's coming back."  
  
Grissom looked up, shocked that Nick referred to the suit, surprised and thrilled that Catherine was coming back so soon, and slightly worried about what would happen.  
  
TBC.. 


	8. Party Time

Disclaimer - see chapter one  
  
Chapter Eight - Party Time  
  
There must have been a huge new year party somewhere on the Strip for the Las Vegas underworld because it was another quiet night at the lab. Although, quiet probably wasn't the most appropriate word.  
  
The break room was unrecognisable: decorations, music, nightshift and dayshift talking together, dancing together, partying together. The music could be heard throughout the building: Greg was in charge of its volume.  
  
Grissom, sitting in his office, considered it to be too loud, but he would allow them that luxury once a year.  
  
Nick danced over to where Sara was sitting at the side of the room. "Why aren't you dancing, Sidle?"  
  
"Nobody's asked me, Stokes."  
  
"Well would you care to dance with me?" Nick extended a hand to her.  
  
"Certainly, Sir."  
  
She took his hand and they proceeded to the designated dancing area. Warrick was already there, in a dancing competition with Greg. It was not possible to tell who was winning. They both seemed as bad as each other.  
  
"Come on! Even I could do better than that!" Sara shouted to be heard over the music.  
  
"Oh yeah? Prove it!" replied Greg.  
  
"Yeah, come on. All of you. Dance competition. I'll judge," Nick proclaimed.  
  
"Why do you get to judge?" Sara argued.  
  
"Because I don't want to enter. But you extended a challenge, so you have to." Nick smiled and pushed her to the rest of the dancers.  
  
For Nick, the dancing was entertaining, for the others, could they have seen themselves, it was humiliating. Greg was completely out of time, Warrick's hair was moving more than his body was and Sara was quite lost in the music, not at all concerned with what she looked like.  
  
"Is this a private party, or can anyone join in?" Catherine said, creeping up behind Nick.  
  
"Hey, nice to have you back," he said, focussing his attention on the man standing just behind her.  
  
"Nice to be back.. Oh, this is Horatio Caine, Miami CSI. Nick."  
  
Horatio and Nick shook hands.  
  
"We're having a dance contest. So far, Ecklie's winning."  
  
"Oh, we can't have that." Catherine announced as she joined the dance floor.  
  
Dancing came naturally to her. Her body moved smoothly and rhythmically. She moved to Greg, and making him follow her lead, managed to get him into time. Then Warrick. Showing him how moving your feet can add positively to a dance move. Moving next to Sara, she stopped as a hand flew towards her. Realising it was safer to leave her be, she signalled to Horatio to join her. He refused. He was enjoying watching. After pleading didn't work she moved onto Nick, and, as she wouldn't take no for an answer from him, he joined her. And they danced.  
  
Catherine seemed completely relaxed, as if this was the release she had been waiting for. He had tried his best, but no matter how many places he'd shown her, no matter how many great restaurants he'd taken her to, she would not relax. He could not take her mind off Vegas, off Grissom. However, her worries now seemed to have subsided, as she let herself dance. Moving her body to the music she expelled all her tension. She too was lost in the music, but was more in control than Sara was. Her arms were not flailing about threatening anyone who went near her, they waved rhythmically above her head. Her body twisted and turned, unaware of the many eyes fixed upon it. Her hair bounced around her head, yet still looked gorgeous. Her eyes were closed as if savouring the moment. Overall, she was breathtaking. The other dancers had stopped. Most of them amazed. Unaware that their co-worker could be so sexy. Many of them didn't know her history, had no idea how she learned to dance, or why. Those who did had never seen her dance. She had always avoided it, careful to keep that part of her life in her past. She was past it. She had moved on. It was something she didn't have to do anymore. She would only do it if she wanted to, and, right now, she wanted to. She wanted to let herself be free. To clear her mind. To ignore everything that had happened, to stop thinking about what might happen next, to stop. To stop the confusion in her head, to stop the madness in her heart, to stop waiting. To accept the inevitable and move on. To let it go. To go back to how it used to be, before she expected anything, before it got complicated, before it became confusing.  
  
The music stopped. She stopped. As she opened her eyes she thought she saw everyone suddenly turn away and start fake conversations. She frowned suspiciously then noticed that one person was still watching her. Their eyes locked for a second then he smiled, and walked out of the room. She continued looking to where he had been standing until she was distracted by a voice in her ear.  
  
"I think you won," Horatio whispered.  
  
"And so I should," she smirked, "But perhaps I should be disqualified for withholding the fact that I used to dance professionally.  
  
"What they don't know won't hurt them."  
  
"Yeah. It's often what we do know that hurts us the most."  
  
"Or who we know?" he asked softly and insightfully.  
  
"In your case, who you don't know."  
  
"Will I ever?"  
  
"Do you want to?"  
  
"I'm certainly intrigued."  
  
"Now?"  
  
"Because you need an excuse?"  
  
"I don't need an excuse!"  
  
"Okay, because you need support?"  
  
"Why would I need support, this is Gr-"  
  
"Alright. Because you're scared?"  
  
"Of Grissom?"  
  
"Of what you might do."  
  
He was right. But she wouldn't show it.  
  
"I should never have told you what was going on. I should have known you'd analyse it. You're just like Grissom."  
  
"No I'm not, Cath," he said seriously, "If I was, you'd move to Miami."  
  
"There are hundreds of reasons why I shouldn't move to Miami."  
  
"But he's the only one that could stop you. You're just waiting for him to ask you not to go."  
  
"That's not gonna happen."  
  
"Maybe if you told him where the job is, then he would."  
  
"Now, I didn't tell you I hadn't told him. It's not what you're thinking."  
  
"How do you know what I'm thinking?"  
  
"I read minds," she smiled, "You think I won't go to Miami because I don't want to leave him."  
  
"God, you're good."  
  
"I know." She winked at him. " I just don't want it to be one of those 'don't know what you've got til it's gone' situations. It's so cliché."  
  
"You seem pretty sure he'd miss you."  
  
"Oh he'd miss me. 'Cause he'd realise he had the best goddamn CSI in the business."  
  
"You tell yourself that's what it is."  
  
They both laughed.  
  
"So do you want to meet him?"  
  
"I think you should see him alone first. You need to tell him you're back, and establish what it's gonna be like between the two of you."  
  
"It'll be like it always is," she said, trying to conceal her tone of disappointment.  
  
"It doesn't have to be."  
  
"Yes it does. That's the way we agreed it would be. It's the way it's supposed to be."  
  
"Is it?"  
  
"You ask too many questions."  
  
"I'm just trying to make you ask yourself questions."  
  
"I already have. And my answer was that things are supposed to be as they are." She spoke as if she actually believed it. And she did. She wished things could be different, but it was out of her control. They were, apparently, destined to be right where they were. He was holding them apart. Keeping them closer to where they were than where she wanted them to be. But that was what he wanted. She had to respect that.  
  
"So, we'll go in there and there won't be any sexual tension?"  
  
"Unless he fancies you. Or you him," she teased.  
  
"Everything'll be perfectly normal? You would bet on that?"  
  
"I would. But you shouldn't," she said matter-of-factly.  
  
"And why not?"  
  
"Because you don't know what normal was like." With this she smiled and led him out of the break room.  
  
The eyes of the younger CSIs followed them, curious. Was this Miami guy trying to break up their family? And was Cath going to let him?  
  
TBC.. 


	9. The Meeting

Disclaimer - see chapter one  
  
Chapter Nine - The Meeting  
  
"Hey! Nice suit." Catherine noticed, and she was intrigued.  
  
Grissom shrugged his shoulders, "I knew you were coming back today."  
  
They both smiled, as did Horatio. 'No sexual tension! Right!'  
  
"This is Horatio Caine, head of the Miami Crime Unit."  
  
Grissom stood to shake Horatio's hand.  
  
"Mr Grissom, I've heard a lot about you."  
  
"I'm sure she left out the good parts."  
  
"I aim to please." As she had anticipated, she was nervous. She couldn't relax, she couldn't be herself, she was conscious of her every move. She was acting, trying to recreate their past, but it wasn't working.  
  
Perhaps distance wasn't a good idea. Maybe if she had stayed they could have more easily ignored her outburst. Leaving gave it greater importance, greater significance. It indicated imbalance and uncertainty within their relationship. She knew he didn't think as she had said. He hadn't said it. She was upset at words she had given to him, not heard from him. But to say that now would be pointless. He wouldn't believe her, and she couldn't explain to him what it was really about. She was angry with him, and she had needed a way to vent that, the truth was not an option, so she found an alternative, and now he was further from her than he had been before.  
  
"So, you not a party person?" Horatio asked, already knowing the answer, but needing a starting point for a conversation.  
  
"Not particularly. They hold these things as close to me as possible in the hope that I'll join them. I don't. They'll probably be in here next year."  
  
"Ah, they've made you into some sort of paternal figure?"  
  
Grissom nodded. "It's sad. So sad." As he spoke he looked directly at Catherine, she just looked back, not portraying any particular emotion.  
  
"They've built a little family around you. I know what that's like."  
  
"Yeah. It's a sad, sad situation."  
  
Catherine frowned. She understood what he was doing, but she didn't understand why. And it wasn't a Grissom-like thing to do. It was more like the Christmas Eve Grissom. The Grissom who kissed her cheek. The Grissom whose eyes she had met the day before she left for Miami. The one that had stirred those feelings inside her. Feelings she hadn't allowed herself to feel for years. She smiled inwardly, but her confusion increased, what was he doing?  
  
She watched as the two men talked. They seemed to easily find topics to discuss: crime scenes; technology; bugs. She left them to it. Grissom rarely spoke to anyone outside of the lab. This would be good for him.  
  
*****  
  
It was rare for Grissom to talk to anyone from outside the lab, but he was determined that he wouldn't be himself around Horatio Caine. He wanted to know how close he and Catherine were. He couldn't ask her, so he would talk to him. See what he could sense from their conversations. What information he could get out of him.  
  
Unfortunately, either Caine could tell what Grissom was doing, or he was as closed as Grissom normally was. His investigation yielded no results.  
  
"Well, it's nice to have met you. But I should probably go and find Catherine."  
  
"Sure."  
  
Both men stood and Horatio turned to leave. Reaching the door he stopped. "You're lucky to have her, you know. She's an excellent CSI. And an amazing woman."  
  
"I know," Grissom responded sincerely, "and I won't let her go without a fight."  
  
His tone was not threatening, just honest. Horatio could see that. He understood the words were spoken in affection and were not intended to be confrontational.  
  
"Good. Because she doesn't want to go."  
  
And with that, he left Grissom with a frown on his face. He returned to his desk and picked up the, still sealed, envelope that Catherine had handed him days earlier.  
  
TBC.. 


	10. The Song

Disclaimer - see chapter one. Also, uses lyrics from Elton John's "Sorry Seems To Be (The Hardest Word)" - from where the title came. These belong to the artist and writer, not to me.  
  
Chapter Ten - The Song  
  
It didn't take him long to find Catherine. He met her in the corridor just outside the break room.  
  
"Hey, I was just coming to get you. They're starting Karaoke in there. Should be funny. I was gonna get Grissom too."  
  
"He's still in his office. I'll meet you inside."  
  
He winked to her then walked into the party.  
  
Curious about the wink, her mind pondered it whilst she made her way to Grissom's office. She found him sitting feeding his ants, his back to the door.  
  
"It's sad, so sad, It's a sad, sad situation," she sang.  
  
"And it's getting more and more absurd," was his, spoken, reply, still feeding the ants.  
  
"Yes it is. They're on karaoke now."  
  
At that he turned to face her. "Doesn't it normally take copious amounts of alcohol to encourage someone to do that?"  
  
"They're all sober. Don't panic." She walked into the office and sat in her usual manner, in her usual chair. "I didn't know you were a fan of Elton John."  
  
"I'm not. I just like a couple of his songs."  
  
"Ah." She nodded slightly, looking around the office, humming the same song.  
  
"It does, Cath." He said suddenly, and seriously.  
  
"I know." She responded earnestly. "So, you don't have to - "  
  
"Yes I do. I should have followed you. You were upset. It was my fault. I shouldn't have let you go."  
  
"But since when have you been able to stop me doing what I want?" She smiled comfortingly.  
  
"Nevertheless, I'm sorry. And I'm sorry it's taken me so long to say it. And I promise you it did not take me this long to feel it."  
  
There it was. A spoken apology. It had to have taken a lot for him to say it, so they didn't discuss it any further. She wouldn't let him. She simply ushered him into the break room, instilling calm into the hearts of the rest of the team by being seated together. As it should be.  
  
TBC.. 


	11. The Case

Disclaimer - see chapter one  
  
A/N: I am not a crime scene investigator nor a scientific person. I have done my best with the forensics in this chapter, please forgive me for any errors.  
  
Chapter Eleven - The Case  
  
Nick had barely got through the first line of "I Will Survive" when Grissom's cell phone rang and the nightshift had to leave the party. To their relief. Ensuring the radio in the Tahoe was switched off, they drove to the crime scene.  
  
On arrival they were greeted by Brass who, after being introduced to the temporary addition to the team, explained what he knew so far. Two bodies. Both with gun shot wounds. One male. One female. Both in their twenties. Called in by a neighbour who heard shots fired.  
  
Grissom dispersed the team and, taking Catherine and Horatio with him, entered the apartment building. They proceeded up the stairs to the second floor and headed for the group of police officers.  
  
"Whoa!" Catherine exclaimed as she suddenly grabbed hold of Horatio's arm. "What the hell is on this floor?"  
  
"It's been recently polished," a police officer explained as he walked to greet them.  
  
"Shouldn't there be a sign up or something?" Catherine frowned as they all walked to the apartment doorway.  
  
"Who polishes a hallway on New Year's Eve?" Grissom asked suspiciously.  
  
"A bored cleaner apparently. She had nothing better to do. She saw the victims arrive together just after she had finished."  
  
The police officer was just about to step into the apartment, but Grissom stopped him. Opening his kit he took out slips for their shoes.  
  
"Polish," he said. "We're gonna need to know how many people were in this apartment tonight. We don't need our shoes adding to the confusion."  
  
Turning to another officer he gave the instruction that no-one was to enter the apartment without first covering their shoes, and the three CSIs entered the scene of the crime.  
  
"They're in the bedroom," the officer informed them.  
  
Catherine looked to Grissom and raised an eyebrow. A man and woman dead in a bedroom. Usually a crime of passion.  
  
They surveyed the rest of the apartment as they made their way to the bedroom. No sign of a struggle. Through the bedroom door they saw the woman was lying on the bed, the man on the floor. And they processed the scene.  
  
~The Evidence~  
  
As Grissom had expected, there were traces of polish on the carpets, allowing them to lift several sets of footprints. After eliminating those belonging to police officers, they were left with three sets. One the woman's, one the man's, the other, the suspect's.  
  
The three CSIs stood looking at their diagram of the bedroom and the footprints.  
  
"So this person enters and leaves. Suspect. This person enters walking directly to here -" Cath said as she drew a circle on the diagram around where two sets of prints were facing each other. "And she seems to start here and walk along the same line that he took to come in, to leave, and also walk from here to the bed. But she never enters the room."  
  
"Hmm. She starts twice, from the same spot, opposite the door that she never came through. That implies that she was already in the room." Grissom mused.  
  
"But the cleaner saw her come home, and how would she have got polish on her shoes?" Catherine asked.  
  
"Exactly."  
  
Whilst they had initially thought that finding footprints was going to give them somewhere to start, it was causing them a great deal of confusion.  
  
"What else do we know?" Grissom asked.  
  
"Both victims were shot. The male was hit over the back of the head first, but cause of death was the gunshot. Nick and Sara are talking to the neighbours with Brass, see if anyone saw the other person.. I can guess what they're gonna find out." Catherine stated.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"It's her boyfriend. The male victim was her lover."  
  
"And what makes you say that?"  
  
Catherine shrugged her shoulders, "Just a theory."  
  
"Since when do we work on theories?"  
  
Catherine turned to Horatio and smiled. "I was just saying."  
  
Grissom watched Catherine's smile suspiciously. Her and Horatio seemed to have unspoken communication. He and Catherine used to have that, but lately it had felt like all communication between them had ceased. They were drifting apart. Was it because of the friend she now had in Horatio Caine? He was gazing at her. He had been for seconds, when she turned in his direction and noticed. He looked away quickly.  
  
"So these footprints - "  
  
Catherine smiled to herself, yet it was a smile of puzzlement. What was going on?  
  
"What about the other room?" Grissom continued, composing himself.  
  
"Well ,our victims enter along the same route. The third prints follow the walls to the bedroom door."  
  
"That doesn't look suspicious," Horatio commented sarcastically.  
  
"Do we know who entered first?"  
  
"Our male vic's prints overlap the female's. As for the others, we don't know. We do know that she met herself coming the other way though." Catherine smiled.  
  
"She turned round. She walked into the bedroom backwards?"  
  
"Best explanation I can think of."  
  
"So now the question is why."  
  
"Maybe the boyfriend'll be able to tell us. Let's hope they've found him."  
  
Luckily, they had. Sara called to say that several neighbours had given the same name for the boyfriend, and they had tracked him down and were bringing him in.  
  
"Had you already spoken to them?" Grissom asked Catherine in the car on the way to the police station.  
  
"No! You know, in some places theories are considered a good starting point. And seeing as mine was right, I think you should think about that."  
  
"So what's your theory on what happened?"  
  
"Well, it seems pretty obvious. He found them together and killed them. The evidence supports it. They were all there, now two of them are dead."  
  
"We don't know the boyfriend was the third person."  
  
"But we will."  
  
"It wasn't exactly the most difficult theory to come up with."  
  
"I know," she smiled, "I think it's not exactly the most difficult case. It's a crime of passion, spur of the moment, it wasn't planned, wasn't calculated."  
  
"So why'd he sneak along the walls?"  
  
"He heard noises coming from the bedroom. He was being cautious. He grabs his gun and sneaks in."  
  
Grissom just looked at her, an unsure expression on his face.  
  
"It's just a theory," she added.  
  
"We'll see."  
  
~The Confession~  
  
"He's what?!" Grissom almost yelled at Brass. The detective had been waiting for them, his talk with the boyfriend was over, and had surprising results.  
  
"He's confessed," Brass repeated.  
  
"To what, exactly?" Grissom said in a quieter, calmer tone.  
  
"To killing Jackson Flynn. He says it was self-defence. He walked in, Jackson had Tina pinned up against the wall with a gun at her chest, and he shot her. Then he turned, so he hit him unconscious, took the gun and shot him."  
  
"Then ran."  
  
"He said he moved Tina to the bed, tried to revive her but he couldn't, then he realised he'd killed Jackson and ran."  
  
"He's got it all planned," Catherine said, much to the surprise of the others who turned and looked at her, awaiting her explanation. "What? He blames the dead guy for killing his girlfriend, he can't argue, so he can claim self-defence and he thinks by confessing it gives his story credibility. And by the looks on all your faces, he was successful," she shook her head, "you all believe him because he's the one who was cheated on."  
  
"Cheated on?" queried Brass, "There was no mention of his girlfriend cheating on him. He said he'd never seen Jackson Flynn before. He must have been an intruder."  
  
"His girlfriend's infidelity would give him motive for murder. He's not gonna give up that piece of information, is he?"  
  
"True. So if your theory is correct, you will have to start looking for evidence to prove he's lying," Grissom said, smiling to Catherine.  
  
"I will have to?"  
  
"It's your theory. Run with it. You can take charge."  
  
"Why?" she asked suspiciously.  
  
"Because you seem more in tune with what's going on here than I am. And it'll be good practice."  
  
That comment caught the attention of the younger CSIs. Practice for what? Their shocked looks to Catherine went unanswered though, as she was focussed on Grissom, their eyes locked as both tried to read the other. Unsuccessfully.  
  
"So, not because you wanna see me fail?" Catherine decided to break the silence by changing the subject, something at which she was well practiced.  
  
"Catherine -"  
  
"Sorry. Thank you. Okay, Sara, Nick, Warrick can you go to the lab and check the victims' clothes and all the evidence we have, for anything that indicates the two victims were involved - sexually, romantically, whatever."  
  
"Yes, ma'am," Nick said with a wink, and the three of them left.  
  
"Grissom, Caine, you're with me," Catherine said mischievously. "Brass, can you talk to him again? See if you can get him to slip up."  
  
"Will do. I'll keep you posted."  
  
"So where are we going, Boss?" Grissom said with a cheeky grin on his face.  
  
"We are going to the apartment to re-enact his version of events."  
  
TBC.. 


	12. The Apartment

Disclaimer - see chapter one  
  
A/N: As for chapter 11, please forgive any forensics/ evidence errors.  
  
Chapter Twelve - The Apartment  
  
The three of them stood in the doorway and looked into the apartment. Inside was the truth. All they had to do was find it.  
  
"So, I'm Tina. You two can choose who you want to be." Catherine announced.  
  
"I'll be the suspect," Caine said, "If that's alright with you, Grissom."  
  
"It's fine."  
  
"Okay, so I enter first," Catherine spoke as she walked into the room, "I reach here and turn round. Why?"  
  
"Maybe because I walk in behind you. You hear me, turn to see what the noise is. I have a gun, and I back you into the bedroom," he smirked, a twinkle in his eyes.  
  
"According to his story you had me pinned against the wall. Footprints lead to that wall."  
  
Grissom backed her into the bedroom towards the far wall. All the way his eyes were fixed on hers. Lost in her gaze, he didn't realise they had reached the wall until her back hit it.  
  
"Ow! Are you gonna really shoot me too?" she joked, knowing exactly why he hadn't been aware of the wall.  
  
He was now standing only centimetres from her. She could feel each breath against her skin and there was that feeling again.  
  
"Of course I'm not gonna shoot you."  
  
"Good. So, you have a gun against my chest."  
  
"The wound was about here," Grissom said softly as he positioned his hand where he imagined the gun would have been. His touch was so gentle. Catherine repeated her earlier thought, what was going on?  
  
"Do you two want to be alone?" Horatio's voice broke her thought pattern. Catherine glared at him playfully. "I just thought that might have been what I said when I came in," he smiled.  
  
"I doubt it," Catherine responded. "So you're in the room, so Grissom shoots me now..Wait!"  
  
"Cath, I'm not gonna really shoot you."  
  
"No.. That's it!" She looked into Grissom's eyes, as she tried to step away from the wall but found herself trapped, "Excuse me, please."  
  
Slowly and reluctantly Grissom stepped backwards. Catherine smiled her thanks and turned round.  
  
"There are no marks on this wall. If I was shot here then there would be blood, for starters."  
  
"Maybe it wasn't this wall."  
  
They looked around the room. The only wall with any blood on it was above the bed.  
  
"He couldn't have had her pinned against that wall. They'd have been standing on the bed. And the blood wouldn't have spattered that way," Grissom observed.  
  
"So that's proof that he lied. It's not proof that he killed her, but it's proof that he's hiding something. We-"  
  
Catherine's phone rang. "Hello?. Right.Ah, excellent. Yeah.. Thanks, keep up the good work.". She hung up the phone. "That was Nick. They've found traces of Jackson's saliva in Tina's mouth, and vice versa."  
  
"He could have kissed her. Forcing himself on her."  
  
"That's true. They also found her fingerprints on the belt that he was wearing."  
  
"She could have been trying to push him away."  
  
"On the back of his belt, as if her hand was wrapped round it."  
  
"Pulling him off?"  
  
"Maybe. Let's see. Lucky you're wearing a belt today. Come here."  
  
Catherine positioned herself against the wall again and Grissom happily stepped in front of her.  
  
"Now put your gun back."  
  
He re-positioned his hand.  
  
"Let's see if I can reach the back of your belt."  
  
Catherine reached her arms around Grissom trying to reach his belt. In order to wrap her hands round it, she had to pull him very close to her, until he was pressed right against her.  
  
"Does this feel like a position you would let me get you into if you were attacking me?" She had a flirtatious smile on her face. She quickly checked it.  
  
"It's a little uncomfortable holding a gun against you like this."  
  
"Lose the gun," she said, her eyes once more meeting his.  
  
He moved his hand from her chest.  
  
"Now re-position yourself so you're more comfortable."  
  
Horatio shook his head and laughed.  
  
"You got a problem, Miami?" Cath called, looking over Grissom's shoulder.  
  
"No not at all. I just think you are losing our bet."  
  
"We didn't have a bet."  
  
"Lucky for you."  
  
Catherine was surprised away from their conversation by the feeling of Grissom's hand on her rear.  
  
"Grissom!" she exclaimed, looking at him questioningly.  
  
"Sorry, hand slipped," Grissom said, laughing as he stepped away from Catherine.  
  
"Well, I think we've just established it's more likely they were in a friendly embrace than an acrimonious one."  
  
"And what are you gonna do? Re-enact that in court?" Horatio smirked.  
  
"No!" she emphasised, "We're gonna talk to our suspect. Once he knows that we know he lied, he'll crack."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yeah. He's not a killer. He didn't do this for the sake of it, he did it because he was hurt, and jealous, and heart-broken."  
  
"You sound like you're justifying it."  
  
"No, definitely not. I'm just saying, he didn't plan this very meticulously. He just wanted revenge. He came up with his story after the fact. Thought we'd believe him because he was confessing to something."  
  
"You seem to think you know him pretty well," Horatio said.  
  
"I know what it's like to be cheated on. I was never driven to kill anyone though. Just to extreme hatred."  
  
Horatio shook his head. "You didn't deserve that."  
  
"I just married the wrong guy. We learn from our mistakes."  
  
They proceeded out of the apartment and headed to the car.  
  
"Do you think you'll ever marry again?" Horatio continued.  
  
Catherine looked at him, surprised, "That depends if the right guy asks."  
  
"Do you have anyone in mind?" he teased.  
  
Catherine glared at him again and hit him gently on the arm.  
  
"This case seems too simple," Grissom said, as if unaware of the conversation taking place next to him.  
  
"Sometimes they are simple, Gil. This was jealous rage. Drives some people to do crazy things."  
  
"Well, I wouldn't know about that."  
  
"Come on, you've never been jealous?"  
  
"I've never done anything crazy as a result."  
  
Catherine smiled at his honesty, and although unsure of whether she actually wanted to know the answer, asked: "So, you have been jealous? When?"  
  
"That's hardly an appropriate question, Catherine."  
  
Catherine just smiled.  
  
"Like you two have been sticking to appropriate behaviour tonight," Horatio said, just loud enough that Catherine could hear him.  
  
She elbowed him in his side, and glared at him in a sideways glance. He just smirked.  
  
TBC. 


	13. Happy New Year?

Disclaimer - see chapter one  
  
Spoilers - minor for 'The Accused is Entitled'  
  
Chapter Thirteen - Happy New Year?  
  
After completing the work at the police station, the team returned to the lab to find it practically deserted.  
  
"We missed midnight? How did that happen? Surely there were fireworks and things!" Catherine exclaimed looking at the empty rooms and hallways.  
  
"Perhaps you were a little distracted," Horatio teased, gaining another amused glare from Catherine.  
  
"Oh yeah? What exactly were you lot up to at that apartment?" Nick asked, curiously.  
  
"Disproving James Harvey's story," Catherine stated with a smile.  
  
Nick looked to Horatio, his expression told him he wasn't saying anything, so he looked back to Catherine, who was deep in thought, but still smiling. Then he looked to Grissom, also deep in thought, and gazing at Catherine.  
  
"We'll let you two finish up. Sara, Warrick, we'll go tidy the break room. Caine, you wanna see what trouble partying CSIs can cause?"  
  
"I'd love to. My Miami people are so boring."  
  
And they all left, leaving Grissom and Catherine alone in the corridor.  
  
"Do you get the feeling we're being left alone?" Catherine asked, looking around.  
  
"I get the feeling they're trying to get out of doing the paperwork."  
  
Catherine nodded. "Ah." That did seem like a more likely explanation.  
  
They walked into Grissom's office, and sat down. After a short silence, Catherine decided to speak.  
  
"So now can we talk about when you've been jealous?" she asked, knowing it was a risky question, but needing to figure out what had been going on tonight, and hoping this might be a starting point.  
  
"It's still not appropriate."  
  
"It doesn't have to be appropriate, Gil, this is me." His avoidance of the subject unnerved her. Was he avoiding it because he thought she wouldn't like the answer? Had he been jealous of what she thought? What she feared. She decided it was best to be brave and ask, then at least she would know one way or the other. "So, were you jealous when you found out about Sara and Hank?" She tried to sound like her usual breezy self, hiding the nervousness in her voice.  
  
"What?" Grissom was genuinely shocked. "Why would I have been jealous?"  
  
"Oh, come on!"  
  
"Catherine I have no feelings for Sara. You've implied before that I have. How can you think that?"  
  
"Well, we just kinda -"  
  
"We?" Grissom said with further surprise, "You all think I like Sara?"  
  
She was relieved that he seemed so shocked, and was denying it so seriously. But she needed to make sure. "The evidence is there. You brought her in here specifically."  
  
"As I did you."  
  
"You and her have a rapport."  
  
"So do we."  
  
"She always tries to impress you," Catherine looked at him, waiting for his response, and refusing to let herself read between the lines of what he had just said. He just looked back. "You can't say I do that, can you?" Her eyes sparkled as she spoke. She enjoyed teasing him. She'd missed it.  
  
"No. But your evidence only suggests that she might have a slight crush on me. I think you may have misinterpreted it."  
  
"Perhaps you need a new team?"  
  
"My team is fine. I like my team."  
  
"And they like you. Some more than others," Catherine smirked.  
  
"Cath, if you all make jokes about it, it's more likely Sara will think I feel the same. She was my student, she is part of our team. That is it." His tone was serious, and his expression supported it.  
  
"Okay," she mimicked his serious tone. "The Grissom doth protest too much, methinks," she spoke loudly enough to just be heard.  
  
"Catherine!" he didn't shout, but he spoke sharply.  
  
"I'm sorry. I won't make any more jokes. I understand what they could do to your reputation. You're her boss. It wouldn't be appropriate." Her expression was one of sadness and anger, and it cut into Grissom like a knife. He knew where those words had come from, and realised how much pain he had caused her. She had hidden it well over the last year, he'd had no idea.  
  
"I shouldn't have snapped."  
  
"It's okay. I'm used to it," she tried a smile.  
  
"Because I've become a lousy leader and Ecklie is rubbing off on me?"  
  
"I was wound up. Why have you waited so long to confront me on that?" She looked concerned.  
  
"I didn't think you'd meant it."  
  
"But now you do?" Concern turned to shock and confusion.  
  
He looked at her sadly. "You're leaving. I figured the two must be connected."  
  
"Gil, you had your reasons for doing what you did. If she hadn't wound me up so much I would have seen it sooner. I'm not leaving because of y- .. because I no longer have faith in you as our leader."  
  
"Then, why?"  
  
"I haven't said I am leaving. I said I've been offered a job."  
  
"You'll take it."  
  
"Will I?"  
  
Grissom nodded. "I've watched you with him. You two work well together."  
  
"So do we." She mocked.  
  
"You have an unspoken understanding."  
  
"So do we."  
  
"He thinks you're an amazing woman." Catherine smiled. She knew what she was supposed to do. But it wasn't like her to do as was expected. "So do you." She smiled again, her eyes bright.  
  
He tilted his head and raised his eyebrows, the corners of his mouth curling slightly. A non-committal response, however, she knew to read it as affirmation of what she'd said.  
  
"There are reasons for me to go. And there are reasons for me to stay. I just need to figure out if the pull of Miami can overcome the hold of Vegas." She was serious this time.  
  
Grissom nodded. "So you are thinking about it?"  
  
"Yeah. It's very tempting."  
  
Their conversation had slipped into supervisor-team member as they both suppressed their emotions, feeling that holding back was safer.  
  
"Miami is great," Catherine continued. "The landscape, the climate, the people. And being awake when it's light would be good."  
  
"You don't have to go to Miami for that."  
  
"True. But I'd either have to work for Ecklie, or kill him, to get that here."  
  
"Yeah. I see how neither of those options are appealing."  
  
"Sometimes, the second one is. But it's not an advisable course of action." She smiled again, but there was a sadness in her eyes. He saw it, but he couldn't interpret it. Was she sad because she didn't want to leave, but felt she had to? Or did she want to go and she was sad to leave her friends? Or was trying to decide taking its toll on her? He wanted to ask her to stay, but he didn't want to cause her any more confusion. And he didn't want to influence her decision. And he wasn't ready. He wasn't good with little feelings, and these were like a mountain, its peak lost in the clouds. If she did stay, maybe one day, he would tell her. But after seeing how much he had obviously upset her, would it be fair? If she didn't stay, well, he didn't want to think about that.  
  
"Listen, Cath, I-"  
  
She looked at him, hopeful.  
  
"I can finish up here. You go home."  
  
Her hope subsided. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Yeah. And go save Caine from them." He laughed slightly. He liked Horatio Caine. They were very similar. He wanted to despise him. He wanted to hate him for wanting Catherine, but he couldn't. He was a nice guy. He would never hurt Catherine. If she chose him, then he would try to be happy for her.  
  
"Hmm. Wouldn't want to send him back to Miami traumatised. I'll see you tomorrow." She rose from her chair, she hoped he would say more, but he didn't. She smiled a goodnight to him and headed for the door.  
  
"Catherine"  
  
This stop-her-in-the-doorway routine was getting old, but she stopped and turned, telling herself that he wasn't going to say what she wanted, but still hoping he would.  
  
"Happy new year."  
  
No. That was not it. Perhaps he didn't feel as she thought. Her options were to ask, or to stop waiting. It was time to choose.  
  
"I hope so," she replied and then she left.  
  
Grissom sat back in his chair and rubbed his head.  
  
TBC . 


	14. Attack of the Coffee Cup

Disclaimer - see chapter one  
  
Chapter Fourteen - Attack of the Coffee Cup  
  
A loud exclamation of pain came from the break room as Catherine approached. She quickened her walk to a run and went to investigate. On arrival she found the other three gathered around Warrick, a broken mug lying in front of him.  
  
"I leave you alone for ten minutes. What have you done, children?"  
  
They all turned to face her. Warrick had an inflamed, red mark on his forehead.  
  
"Okay, who hit him with the mug?" She asked, her observation skills telling her what had caused the wound.  
  
"Nobody. The mug jumped," Nick informed her.  
  
"Jumped? Mugs don't just jump."  
  
"This one did, MOM," Sara said with a grin.  
  
"It did, Cath. I was trying to reach my mug from the back of the cupboard and that one jumped off and caught my head on the way down." Warrick explained.  
  
"Caught? It looks like somebody thumped you," Catherine said as she walked towards him. She stood in front of Warrick, beside Horatio, and examined the wound.  
  
"Sara, bag the mug, just in case he decides to press charges."  
  
"Oh, that's it. Make fun of my misfortune. It hurts," Warrick said, with a child-like tone to his voice.  
  
Catherine placed her hand under his chin and raised his head so she could see the bruise more clearly. She, sighed mockingly. "Alas, poor Warrick.. I knew him, Horatio," she tried to shake her head seriously, but a smile escaped.  
  
Horatio laughed, Warrick pulled his head away, shaking it as he did so.  
  
"Grissom's rubbing off on you," he said to Catherine.  
  
"Yeah? And you, evidently, you knew it was a quote," was her response, accompanied by her famous smile.  
  
"I have read some Shakespeare, you know. I'm not just a pretty face."  
  
"Good job," Nick threw in.  
  
"So have I, so why would it be Grissom's influence on me?" Catherine protested light-heartedly.  
  
"Only Grissom uses the quotes in every day conversation."  
  
Catherine knew he was right. Since she had met Grissom, she had started to read again. Poetry, prose, plays. And she had picked up his habit of using quotations in conversation, initially so that she could surprise him by being able to counter-quote whatever he came up with. But then she was doing it more and more without realising.  
  
The rest of the team had realised. Like they had noticed that Grissom was more open when Catherine was in the room. Like they had observed that both senior CSIs would light up when together. How neither seemed complete or content when they were apart. They didn't presume to say it was love, they knew the strength of their connection was the result of years of friendship and support. Grissom and Catherine were a team, professionally and personally. But lately they had noticed a change. Slightly more hostility between them. More time spent apart. More secret saddened glances when they thought no-one was looking, and only when they knew the other definitely was not. Perhaps the friendship had developed. The evidence certainly pointed that way, and their conclusion was that they must have been afraid of it.  
  
And then, like a knight in shining armour, in rides Horatio Caine. Right when Catherine is vulnerable, when her Vegas life is unsettled. Offering her an escape, a fresh start, an open heart. They could see it all clearly, as if before them in the layout room. Horatio was trying to take Catherine away, and Grissom was too shy and afraid to try to stop him. It was up to them.  
  
Nick had tried tonight. Seeing the looks on their faces, and hearing Caine's insinuations, he thought some time alone might be beneficial. Whatever had happened at that apartment might act as a stepping stone for Grissom to reveal all. However, from the expression on Catherine's face now, it did not appear to have worked.  
  
"Grissom says we can go," Catherine announced after returning, from her thoughts of Grissom, to the real world.  
  
"Good, I could do with some sleep," Warrick muttered as he stood up.  
  
"Oh, you shouldn't sleep. You might have a concussion," Nick joked.  
  
"Ha! Ha!"  
  
"Nick's right. We should make sure you're okay before we let you out of our sight," Sara supported. "We'll observe you over breakfast, then if we think you are okay, we'll take you home."  
  
"This is silly, I'm fine."  
  
"Do as you're told, honey," Catherine said, teasingly.  
  
"Are you gonna join us?" Nick asked.  
  
"Not today. I'm gonna get Lindsey and see her before school. I've missed her."  
  
"Understandable. Caine?" The guy might have been trying to steal their 'Mom', but he was a nice man. They couldn't dislike him. In one night, he was one of the team.  
  
"I'm with her, but thanks," Caine replied sincerely, indicating Catherine.  
  
"Okay, well it was nice to meet you. Hopefully see you again some time."  
  
The others exchanged similar farewells with Caine, told Catherine they would see her later, and left.  
  
"So?" Caine turned to Catherine.  
  
"So?" She replied, not understanding what his so had meant.  
  
"By this morning, you said."  
  
Catherine looked away from him. She had said she would give him an answer by the end of the shift, but she didn't know what to say.  
  
"If the decision to leave is this hard, then that's a sign that you should stay." He spoke the words seriously, but not sadly. He had realised long ago how Catherine felt about Grissom. He hadn't expected her to move to Miami, but it was only fair to give her the opportunity.  
  
"What if it's the decision to stay that's hard?" she asked, looking back to him.  
  
"If you're trying to decide to stay, then that's your answer."  
  
She just looked at him in silence. He could see the confusion and anguish in her eyes.  
  
"I think I can show you what you want to do," he offered.  
  
"Please do," she said.  
  
Without another word he leaned forward and kissed her.  
  
TBC . 


	15. A Pink Hotel

Disclaimer - as chapter one, also this chapter contains lyrics from the songs "Sorry Seems to Be (The Hardest Word)" by Elton John, and "Big Yellow Taxi", previously by Joni Mitchell, most recently by Counting Crows and Vanessa Carlton. These lyrics belong to the artists and writers, not to me.  
  
Chapter Fifteen - A Pink Hotel .  
  
He thought she had left. That this thought was wrong he discovered when she burst into his office.  
  
"What's it gonna take, Gil? A pink hotel, a boutique and a swinging hotspot?" She spoke rapidly, but clearly. And whilst he understood the individual words and phrases, he didn't understand her meaning. He looked at her, silent and puzzled.  
  
"Do they need to pave paradise and put up a parking lot?" she continued. It was now making slightly more sense. He still watched her silently, though.  
  
"I wish you'd speak! I think I've been mis-interpreting your thoughts lately.. And I'd really like to know what the hell is going on.. Actions speak louder than words, Gil, and yours are contradicting everything you've ever said!"  
  
She stared at him. Her piercing eyes telling him that he had better say something or else he could get seriously hurt.  
  
"I love you," he said, with a smile of adoration.  
  
Catherine froze. Her breathing froze. Her body froze. She stood in silence. The rapid beating of her heart, the only sound. After a few seconds the only response she could come up with was, "What?"  
  
Grissom rose and walked towards her. "Don't go to Miami, Catherine, I need you here. I know I said it wasn't a good idea, but that was the biggest mistake I have ever made. We have missed out on so much time."  
  
She listened, still frozen.  
  
".And sorry is the hardest word now, because I can't think of a way to say it that encapsulates just how much I regret what I did, what I said, and what I put you through- "  
  
"You're getting a bit soppy, Gil," Catherine smiled, finally managing to move.  
  
"I'm not finished," he said stopping in front of her and looking deep into her eyes with a look that made her heart melt. "I have always loved you, Catherine. Always. Now just tell me." With a little smile he started singing.  
  
"What I gotta do to make you love me?"  
  
Catherine laughed, moved by his non-Grissom act.  
  
"What I gotta do to make you care?"  
  
She felt the tears gathering in her eyes and the lump developing in her throat.  
  
"What do I say when lightning strikes -"  
  
His singing was stopped by the impact of her lips on his, as she threw her hands round his neck and pulled him closer to her. Wrapping his arms around her waist he returned the kiss, locking them together in an embrace they had longed for.  
  
"Sorry doesn't have to be said in words," she said smiling, when she pulled away for air.  
  
"I know a good little pink hotel actually," he said, looking at her longingly, but lovingly.  
  
Catherine laughed. She stroked his cheek with her hand, and looked into his shining blue eyes. "I love you too."  
  
And they kissed again, and they both knew it would last forever, and no-one would have anything to apologise for.  
  
THE END 


End file.
